Isn’t it just great when you finally find your true calling? When the Good Lord finally kicks open a door for ya’ and just says, here, you’ve been mantled for this all yer life! Well, Lizard and me, we have been so blessed by this here American Values WalMart, importin’ all of our cheap goods from those Chinese who don’t have any socialist unions gettin’ in the way, again, of our freedoms, for the troops!
We’re doin’ God’s work here at WalMart, sellin’ plastic and oil, and again, there, too, cuttin’ off those American jobs. Drill, baby, Drill!
Wink wink to all ya’ AIP members for noticing my flair! Secession is the way I see America, also, too! God bless ya’, and keep reloading!
Oh, an Lizard doesn’t talk anymore, he just let’s me do the talkin’ ‘cuz he doesn’t really stand fer much, but he did want me to give a big shout out there to those WalMart greeters who like him, are workin’ so hard to take back our aisles! They say “yes we can!” and we say “oh, no ya’ don’t, there smarty!” Ya’ might be smarter than us and have a better temperament, but we talk for the Rill Mericuns who just want to consume stuff!
Yeah, workin’ at WalMart is kinda like being President, only I have real responsibilities, take that you Muslin Socialist Terrist! I win!