Finally, a Conservative Explains What They Stand For: Spankings by States, not Feds!

| April 20, 2010 | 0 Comments

Romeny Loves Spankings

Mittens Loves Spankings

Mittens Loves Spankings

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been wondering exactly what conservatives stand for during the last…oh, 15 years or so. It seems to me that they stand for fidelity, unless they’re doing the cheating, and fiscal responsibility unless they’re actually in charge, and safety for America unless they’re actually in charge….So it was with great relief that I read this interview with Mitt Romeny, wherein he explained that conservatives think that only the states know what’s best for the people (unless they’re in charge at Federal level).

Mittens clowned it up in a Newsweek interview last week:

NW: “What don’t you like?

MR:What we don’t like is the intrusion of the federal government on the rights of states. We don’t like raising taxes. We don’t like the cuts in Medicare Advantage. And we don’t like the price controls.

NW: I’d like to clear something up about that federalist argument. During one of the 2008 debates, Charles Gibson said, “You seem to have backed away from mandates on a national basis.” And your response was, “No, no, I like mandates. The mandates work.” Were you saying that you supported federal mandates then, even though you say you don’t now?

MR: No. We created an incentive for people to get insurance at the state level. Our plan is a state plan. I oppose a federal plan for purposes of federalism. It would be like saying, a father has spanked his son. Do you think that the federal government should be allowed to spank children?”

So, conservatives believe that only states know what’s best for the people — or more specifically, when to spank their children (aka, the people). Father knows best when father is Republican leading state. They are AGAINST the feds spanking the people, though. Because that’s just “intrusive”. Unless, of course, the feds are Republicans, in which case, we go right back to the authoritarian model upon which the Republican platform is built.But, see, only Daddy knows best, so if Daddy is not in charge at federal level, spankings by feds are BAD.

Thank you, Mittens, for clarifying what Republicans stand for! Finally! I am sure many Americans can get behind spankings by states, but not Feds!

Also, too, Romney explained that we already had universal health care, because those well-off grifters could walk into any hospital and get treatment before he mandated insurance for the rich in his state. We know Republicans don’t get out much, so we can’t expect them to know the price of milk let alone the realities of the average middle class family facing a healthcare crisis in certain states wherein they most assuredly can and will be rejected by a hospital because they don’t have insurance.

Lastly, I don’t know about you, but I find the Republicans obsession with sex unnerving. It seems their “Family Values” platform forces all of their repressed sexual desires to manifest in rather twisted ways, not unlike the Catholic church. Personally, I don’t want Mittens spanking me on a State level or a Federal level. I just want a government run by people who can actually govern and don’t think they know best in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, which is why I usually vote for the D on the ticket.

Mitt 2012: Spankings by States!

I fear this won’t go well for Mittens, and that leaves them their secessionist sweetheart, Sarah Palin. 2012 is going to be one big GOP Clown Show.

h/t CP for the link.

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Category: Catholic church, GOP, Mitt Romney, Republican platform, Sarah Jones

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