Polls of Mass Hysteria: Republicans Are Taking Country Back!

| June 15, 2010 | 3 Comments

Another slow news day. Oil is still leaking (or, as they say on Fox News, sharing or merging with ocean and critters — no PROBLEM though) and no one can stop it — not even President Obama, who is after all, responsible for everything including my failure to brush my teeth last night. We really need to vote him out of office. Remember the good old days, when the Chief sneered out “nuk-u-leer” with great affection? Sigh. Anyhoo, news is slow so OUT COME THE POLLS.

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Poll of Mass Hysteria!

Poll of Mass Hysteria!

APPARENTLY, DEMOCRATS WILL LOSE SOME SEATS IN THE HOUSE THIS FALL! (Gasp! Get the smelling salts!)

Many pollsters shocked to find out Democrats will lose some seats this fall! With nothing much else to do, and no lame duck President to mock, the “press” is all over this one like flies on W. No matter that they shoulda already known this, as it’s pretty darn predictable that in the mid-terms, the party of the President loses some seats.

The fun part is attaching a MEME (meme; a cultural unit (an idea or value or pattern of behavior) that is passed from one person to another by non-genetic means (as by imitation)) to the news, like “this is a referendum on the President” or “the voters hate the healthcare bill”. ‘Cuz, you know, those are big statements likely to get some haters and fearers on board.

Gosh, there’s nothing like hate and fear to sell, sell, sell!

One thing they won’t tell ya’, maybe ‘cuz it’s hard to explain in under three words, is that most of the “vulnerable” Democratic seats were once held by Republicans and are in fact, in Republican leaning districts. Nate Silver explains this, “Most of the House battlegrounds this year are on Republican turf, simply because that was the territory that Democrats “conquered” in 2006 and 2008.”

That’s a plus 4 district, meaning the Republican Presidential candidate in those districts got about four more points than they did nationwide. Now, ask yourself, what kind of district voted PLUS FOUR for W the second time around and PLUS FOUR for McFail and $? These are your basic LIVs, and the fact that Dems took any of these seats at all is amazing.

Yeah, see, some of these districts were part of the Democratic Domination we heard so much about in the news in 2006 and 20008. Er…OK. That meme never caught on. No one cared until we figured out we could blame Democrats for Bush’s ideas for at least two years.

Now, some Republicans will get their districts back.

Some Republicans are going to get their districts back, or as the bored and desperate press/the desperate and boring Right will say, “the American people have spoken and Republicans are takin’ the country back!”

FYI: Gettin’ back your seat isn’t quite an ass-kicking, it’s more the Republican walk of shame back into their seat in the House. But we all know Republicans are allergic to reality, so we’ll have to deal with their pumped up egos and narcissism for the rest of the year. Strike that — the rest of our lives.

Yes, Nate Silver is still predicting Dems could lose the House– it’s a toss up right now — but as he points out, this has been going on for a year now. This is not news, it’s not related to the oil spill, Dick Cheney’s Katrina, or healthcare. It’s also not a referendum on Obama’s elitist love of mustard. It just is.

All Republicans can do about it is hope the economy doesn’t improve this summer (luckily for the incompetent GOPPERS, the market always seems to dip in the summer) and keep doing nothing for the country while screeching about impeachment with every breath they have. Oh, and denying that Bush sucked at the same time as they desperately shriek that Obama is “just like Bush”. One can only assume that’s an insult, but maybe we should check first, eh?

At any rate, the very notion that Republicans are taking the country back is pretty laughable. Republicans are hanging on to their teabagging base and not much else right now, and if they keep on down the path of Constitution-violating immigration laws, disrespect for the office of the President and obstruction at every single turn, they won’t get the moderates or indies on their side.

They will win some seats back, but can they take a national election at this rate? I wouldn’t bet on it. They are, of course, helped along by the fact that on the Republican Family Values ticket, having an affair, banging your luggage boy, cheating the tax payers, lying on your taxes, and talking out of the side of your mouth are actually qualifications for office rather than dis-qualifiers. It opens the field for them for shizzle.

Oh, and by the way, ppppsssssttttt!!!! Here’s what they won’t tell us in the news:

Republicans are taking this country back when HELL freezes over.

Just sayin’. Y’all did enough damage last time and we’re still recovering. Thanks, but no thanks.

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Category: GOP, GOP hypocrisy, Media, poll, Sarah Jones

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  1. coolmom64 says:

    Why, oh, why can’ t Nemrit be a clown also too like those Republicans?

  2. Nikolai says:

    They don’t ride those little bikes
    Nor do they jump thru hoops
    They don’t throw those creamy pies
    Nor do good do they choose

    They don’t honk those funky horns
    Or wear those big clown shoes
    Instead of laughter, smiles and cheer
    Selfishness they choose.

  3. sarah jones says:

    Nikolai — What a riot! Thanks:-)

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