The Left is Scared of God and Country: Thoughts from a Conservative (Parody, not Oxymoron)
Those mealy mouthed libertards who bash Sarah Palin are just scared of her. Scared because she represents God and Country as only a power-seeking secessionist could. They don’t understand liberty or George Washington like we do because George Soros has ‘em all brain-washed with Acorns.
Just look at her! I’ve found that I don’t need to read books really cause everything I ever needed to know I learned by lookin’. She makes America proud holding that gun and showing us what the Good Lord gave her. That’s a real woman there.
It’s like when I look at Sarah Palin, I SEE God! And he’s wrapped in the flag. Add a gun and it’s like everything worth killing for in one gal. It makes me want to send her all of my money. My kids don’t mind eating cheese whiz for dinner twice a week. Everyone knows cheese is full of pro-teen.
Speeking of teens, the libertards hate God. They want him out of the constitushun! Next thing you know, they’re going to have God thrown out of the bedroom, and you know where that is going to lead this country—straight to hell! Can you say unwed mothers? This is why I hate liberals. Unwed mothers are sluts to be shunned and spit upon unless they’re Sarah Palin’s daughters.
Look at her daughter! She’s not whining for a handout! No siree. She’s pulling herself up by her own boot straps and living high on the hog in an awesome condo and has a brand new Escalade (DRILL BABY DRILL!). Those scary lookin’ immigrant single mothers and Hollywood elite sluts could learn a thing or two from Bristol Palin.
When you go to vote this fall, just ask yourself what you believe in before you pull the lever. Remember, it’s all about your feelings. Facts are book learnin’ are for heathens. So just ask your gut like W did. And your gut will tell you that Jesus loves Sarah Palin. Not only should you vote for her, but also for anyone she endorses (hello Nikki Haley and Carly Fiorina! More mamma grizzlies! The new feminism!). And send them money because the evil media are attacking God every time they ask Sarah what she reads. It’s almost as if she is God, you know? ‘Cept of course, God is a man. Duh. As if.
And don’t forget to vote for Clint Diggler and Elle Bachmann who’s farm subsidies are really not big government handouts like the libertards say. Diggler explains this all on his website for goodness sake! “Yes, as a farmer I have been a recipient of monies from FSA programs. However, my past participation does not preclude my belief it is time to end the government farm subsidy program; ” Hello, libertards! He took the money and now he doesn’t want anyone to suffer like he did! Why can’t you understand that he’s a fiscal conservative! He’s a CONSERVATIVE you degenerite hyppie!
When the money goes to conservative teabaggers, it automatically is sanctioned by Jesus. Jesus wants Republicans to have all of the government money, because only Republicans can spend it all in time to ruin the evil big government and bankrupt the country and finally stop feedin those illegals so we can finally bring Jesus back and have the End Times. Jesus really hates them illegals.
It never ceases to amaze me how stupid Liberals are.